Album Reviews

Over the past 70 years, the world has been treated to Christmas songs recorded by Bing Crosby, the Vince Guaraldi Trio, Nat “King” Cole, and many others. These classics evoke the wonderful feelings of the holiday season among listeners of all ages. Happy Xmas is Eric Clapton’s attempt to create his own seasonal classic. With a “slight blues tinge” to holiday favorites, he falls painfully short with an amazingly boring, emotionless, and by-the-numbers album.

The album starts with a rendition of “White Christmas,” which cements that Clapton is no Bing Crosby when it comes to bringing the Christmas spirit. It’s as sanitary as can be, and sounds as if it’s trying to be as bluesy as possible while still appealing to a younger pop audience. This is a common musical theme that repeats throughout the album, even on Clapton’s original composition “For Love on Christmas Day,” a song about longing to find lasting love during the holiday season. The song conveys emotion that doesn’t sound genuine due to the generic lyrics and vocal delivery.

The 2LP set’s second side starts off in a fairly pleasant way with “Christmas Tears” and “Home for the Holidays” (not the song made famous by Perry Como), but ends with an awful arrangement of “Jingle Bells,” dedicated to Avicii. (Avicii was the Swedish EDM producer who died at age 28 following years of alcohol issues, which Clapton himself struggled with throughout the 70’s and 80’s.) Save for the electronically manipulated vocals towards the middle of the song, it sounds nothing like “Jingle Bells” as we have previously known it. Heavily featuring club-ready drum programming and redundant guitar fills, it’s among the most un-Christmas-y “Christmas” songs ever made.

Sadly, the second LP of Happy Xmas is another 27 minutes of the same: more bland performances of Christmas standards that we all know, love, and hate because of pre-season shopping mall overexposure. “Merry Christmas Baby” drags on for four minutes with little in the way of emotion, and “Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas” works better with the depth of Frank Sinatra’s voice on a “Christmas Crooners” CD (though Clapton’s rendition contains the original lyrics before they were jollied-up for Sinatra). Nothing on this album suggests the musical or sonic warmth that I associate with classic Christmas music. Perhaps the album cover’s Santa is smiling because he got thousands of fools to waste $25 putting this under the tree for their loved ones. If I found this under my tree, I would be infuriated that my family and/or friends forced such mediocrity onto my turntable. After the return to form that was I Still Do, this album is a tremendous disappointment.

The album’s sound is acceptable although clean and “digital,” but the 45rpm format’s smoothness only contributes to its sanitary character.. GZ’s 2LP colored vinyl pressings (red and green, respectively) have a slight “whooshing” sound, poorly-cut labels, and are warped because the Czech Republic-based company seems to have difficulty pressing flat records. The records are packaged in a gatefold sleeve with Clapton’s own illustrations, which are the highlight of this release.

Please excuse me while I go dig out my copy of A Charlie Brown Christmas to bring in some true Christmas spirit…